In daily life: dealing with the paranoid

In daily life: dealing with the paranoid

living with a paranoid

One clue is how you feel when you meet him: distrust and suspicion permeate the air.

The feeling is like walking on eggshells; you feel under scrutiny, breathing for your neck.

You feel oppressed by their distrust, you would like to frown, free yourself once and for all from that tangle of tendentious questions in which you have gotten yourself.

You start to be slippery.

You hope to get out of it vaguely, to escape that relational claustrophobia.

But not.

Your answers become the object of analysis, meticulous of course.

At this point, your mind begins to long for deserted beaches where you can spend your remaining years.

You really can’t take it anymore.

The irritation increases and… tac… there’s your misstep: now you also appear in his eyes as another one who wanted to fuck him.

And then that controlling impulse, 41 bis style, gives way to aggression.

Now you no longer feel slowed down, suffocated, but scared. You represent the red cloth in front of a charging bull.

Reacting peacefully and understandingly in such a situation has the same difficulty coefficient as a quadruple somersault and half backhand.

Like most living things on this planet, you react by responding to provocation or by walking away.

And there you have it, once again confirming the negative expectation of the paranoid.

The paranoid from outside

Observe him more from a distance? As mentioned, he will notice suspicion, mistrust and hostility in your relationships, he will see you reluctant to trust or be intimate with others, cautious to the point of appearing ‘cold’, rational, lacking in affective feelings.

I wouldn’t see him with many friends around, because he highly doubts their loyalty as well as exaggeratedly suspecting the fidelity of the partner, whom he therefore controls strongly.

Often rigid, critical, argumentative, angry, resentful, and vindictive.

And to top it off, a touch of susceptibility and susceptibility.

There, the image is made.


Agnello, T., Fante, C., Pruneti, C. (2013). Paranoid personality disorder: new areas of research in diagnosis and treatment. Journal of Psychopathology, 19, 310-319.

American Psychiatric Association (2014). DSM-5: Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. Raffaello Cortina, Milan.

Benjamin, L. (1996). Interpersonal diagnosis and treatment of personality disorders. Second edition. New York: Guilford.

Dimaggio, G., Montano, A., Popolo, R., Salvatore, G. (2013). Interpersonal metacognitive therapy of personality disorders. Raffaello Cortina, Milan.

Dimaggio, G., Ottavi, P., Popolo, R., Salvatore, G. (2019). Corpo, immaginazione and cambiamento. Interpersonal metacognitive therapy. Raffaello Cortina, Milan.

Dimaggio, G., Semerari, A. (2003). I disturbed the personality. Modelli and treatment. Publishers Laterza, Bari-Rome.

Lobbestael, J., Arntz, A., Bernstein, DP (2010). Unravel the relationship between the different types of child abuse and personality disorders. J Pers Disord, 24, 285-295.

Tyrka, AR, Wyche, MC, Kelly, MM, et al. (2009). Child abuse and symptoms of adult personality disorder: influence of the type of abuse. Psychiatry Res, 165, 281-287.

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